Parent Diaries

Molly tells us her truth about adopting a baby.

Home truths, ugly truths, honest truths and naked truths. The truth is that after 50 years of supporting parents all around the world, we've learned everyone's everyday is different. And that's okay.

Molly's Story

"The truth is, the people in your life will have lots of different opinions when you share that you're going to adopt. But realistically, the opinions of others don't matter if you are 100% committed to your journey.

In our experience, we were surrounded by positive opinions, and had no trouble going into the process. It was really important for us to have that encouraging support around us.

The UK's adoption process is very intense, and I wish I'd known just how full on it was going to be before we began. We did not expect every single detail of our lives to be explored, from education and employment, our childhoods and past relationships, to our finances and future goals. It all felt quite interrogating, but we understood why is needed to be that way. Afterall, we were going to be parenting a child who had so far experienced an adverse childhood.

The truth is, that the whole adoption process should prepare you for the post-placement period once you've bought your adopted child home. We knew it was going to be emotional at first, and we knew that our son would be upset and not happy in our home to start with. Luckily, we had received a lot of training throughout the process, so we felt well equipped and able to cope.

As newly adoptive parents, we were encouraged to live in a bubble for at least a month so that our son could get to know us better and learn to trust us as his caregivers. This meant that our personal lives were quite unsociable for a while. We spent a lot of time at home with our two children.

During the time when we were getting to know each other, building a relationship and attachment was rocky. It took a lot of time for our son to learn to trust us and recognise us mum, dad and big sister.

Truthfully, becoming a parent through adoption comes with so many highs and lows. Once we had found our son it was such a high, and I feel so privileged to be raising him.

It's an absolute honour to be his mum."

Adoption Resources

• Family & Community Services - Here you can find information for birth parents and adoptive parents about the adoption process, how to apply, adoption orders and open adoption.
• Barnardo's offer those who are looking to adopt support at every stage.
• A.S.E. offers mental health services and educational resources for all members of the adoption and foster community. They are committed to nurturing, inspiring and empowering children, teens, their families and the professionals who support them.