Pregnancy has been a real rollercoaster however one of the weirdest feelings leading up to the end was realising I was actually having a baby! After months of preparing the nursery, buying clothes and extreme nesting (hoovering the blinds etc…) I finally ran out of things to do to prepare, and it started to all sink in. I lay awake all-night panicking about being responsible for another person and having totally irrational thoughts (What if he doesn’t love me? What if I don’t know what to do? What if I can’t get him out?) It was awful! I am so excited, but I’ve learnt that it’s totally normal to also be really scared and after reaching out for support I felt much better.
The hospital bags were packed, the baby clothes were all washed and put away and the cot was up. The texts from excited friends and family members were coming thick and fast; "any signs?", “is that baby not here yet?!", “come on! Curry, long walk and lots of sex!!!"
Although I was so excited at the fact I was soon to become a mother, I didn't want my baby to come early. While some people I followed on social media, up to 6 weeks before their due date, were saying "we're ready for you baby, come on out anytime now!" I couldn't think of anything more scary. I loved feeling my baby wiggle and stretch inside of me, knowing I was keeping them safe, fed and warm. A little miracle still growing inside my tummy. I didn't try any of the old wife's tales to "hurry on labour".
I was ready, but only once my baby let me know in their own way, that they were too.
It was like an emotional roller-coaster. And definitely not in a good way!
Every other day, I was switching from being so over pregnancy (I just wanted that baby out of me!) To being terrified of experiencing the pain of labour. What made me feel worse was all the stories I heard about the joyous excitement pregnant women feel close to their labour.
The excitement did eventually kick in for me… just much later than I expected. When I was holding my newborn son in my arms for the first time, the excitement of becoming a parent and getting to know this incredible human being was overwhelming.
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